Maybe I must just admit I’m fucking in love with the kid and move on. But I also want to move on already. No matter how many other dates I go on, no matter how many other guys I talk to, he’ll always be there at the back of my mind, in my thoughts, in my heart.

I wish I could just admit to him (and myself!) that I do care for him but I can’t. He’s the only person I’ve been intimate with for a long time even though its been a long time and the only person I want to be intimate with for a long time.

I need to see him one more time to confirm whether or not what I feel is real. Perhaps. Maybe..